Managing Nerves Before a Speech

What Your Body's Telling You, And How to Lead Through It

You’re standing behind the curtain. Your heart is pounding like it’s trying to break out of your chest. Your palms are slick. Your throat feels dry. And all you can think is: “Why did I say yes to this?”

You’re not alone.

More than 77% of people experience anxiety about public speaking, a fear ranked higher than heights, spiders, or even death in some surveys. But here’s the truth no one tells you: nerves aren’t a sign you’re unprepared. They’re a sign that this matters to you.

Your body isn’t betraying you. It’s alerting you. What you’re feeling is adrenaline preparing you for action. The question is: will you run from it, or rise with it?

Why We Get Nervous: The Biology and the Meaning

Nervousness, at its core, is a biological process. When your brain perceives a threat, even a social one like public speaking, it activates the sympathetic nervous system. This releases adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream, triggering the classic "fight, flight, or freeze" response.

Your heart races to deliver oxygen to muscles. Your breathing quickens. Your digestive system slows, making your stomach churn. Your hands sweat so you don’t slip if you need to climb or escape.

But in modern life, you’re not running from lions. You’re facing something more abstract: judgment.

And still, the body doesn’t differentiate between danger and importance. To your brain, the stakes feel just as high.

Now here's the twist: nervousness isn’t just about fear. It’s about meaning. We get nervous when something matters.

Ask any seasoned speaker, athlete, or performer. Nerves don’t vanish. They transform.

Reframing Nerves as Readiness

Simone Biles. Brené Brown. Michelle Obama. They all feel nerves. What sets them apart isn’t their lack of fear, but their relationship to it.

In a landmark TED Talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy introduced the world to the power of body language, showing that "power poses" can reduce cortisol and increase confidence. While later studies nuanced her findings, the bigger truth remains: your body cues your mind.

If you stand like a leader, you feel more like a leader. And if you treat nerves as readiness, your mind shifts accordingly.

Elite athletes use this mindset constantly. They don’t say, "I’m scared." They say, "I’m pumped."

The sensations of fear and excitement are nearly identical. The label you give them changes your response.

Tools That Actually Work

Let’s talk about what works, not just theory, but tools that can lower anxiety and raise presence.

Physical:

• Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold again for 4. Repeat 4 times. Used by Navy SEALs.

• Power Poses: Stand like a superhero for 2 minutes. Chest open, shoulders back, arms strong.

• Movement: Shake out tension, do jumping jacks backstage, or walk purposefully.

Mental:

• Visualize Success: Close your eyes. Imagine your opening lines landing. Smiles in the audience. You are walking off proud.

• Script the First 20 Seconds: Memorize them. Nail your opening. Confidence will catch up.

• Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of “What if I mess up?” say: “What if this changes someone’s life?”

Spiritual/Emotional:

• Intention Over Perfection: Ask yourself: What’s my message? Who am I here to serve?

• Anchor Phrase: Pick a mantra. "This matters." "Speak truth." "I’m ready."

• Gratitude: Turn fear into thanks. "Thank you, body, for preparing me."

Before the Stage: Rituals That Anchor You

What do you do before the mic turns on? That’s your ritual.

Beyoncé becomes Sasha Fierce. Barack Obama does a fist bump and nod with his team. You? You need a ritual that steadies your nerves and cues your brain: "It’s go time."

Here are ideas:

• Pre-stage playlist: A few songs that hype you up.

• Breath anchor: One deep breath with a slow exhale to centre.

• Mic check moment: Say one sentence that grounds your purpose: "Let’s make this land."

• Wear your courage: A ring, bracelet, or shirt that reminds you of who you are.

These aren’t just quirky habits. They’re ritualized courage.

Speaking Scared Is Still Leading

We often think of leadership as poise, control, and command. But real leadership is presence, honesty, and service.

You don’t need to eliminate nerves to lead. You need to speak anyway.

Your audience doesn’t remember if your voice trembled. They remember if you told the truth.

In fact, nervousness can build connection:

• It makes you more relatable.

• It shows humility.

• It reflects passion.

As author and therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner puts it, "Only the best of us feel fear. Because we know what’s at stake."

What I Learned the Hard Way

The first time I ever spoke to more than 50 people, I nearly called in sick.

I had the talk memorized. Slides done. But backstage? I wanted to disappear.

Then I remembered what a mentor told me: “This isn’t about you. It’s about the one person who needs what you’re saying.”

So, I walked out. Still shaky. Still scared. But I locked eyes with one woman who looked as nervous as I felt.

And when I spoke, I spoke to her.

Afterward, she came up and said, “That hit me in the gut. I needed that.”

That’s when I got it: nerves don’t mean stop. They mean go deeper.

Nervous Means You're Brave Enough to Care

Every speaker you admire feels what you feel.

What separates them isn’t genetics or magic. It’s that they keep showing up.

You don’t conquer fear. You carry it.

And the more often you do, the more fear becomes familiar. Not smaller, just less powerful.

So next time your palms sweat and your voice shakes, don’t shrink from it. Step into it. That’s what leaders do.

What Would You Say If Fear Didn’t Lead?

Your turn. Grab a mic, a stage, a boardroom, a conversation.

And say it. Scared. Shaky. And strong.

Because nervousness is not the enemy.

It’s the compass pointing you toward what matters most.

Stay bold. Stay connected. Stay human.

Kamo Makwela, Founder of Us.Lonely.Folk